I’ve absent some lately & I must explain myself. I blame Kevin Smith.
I’ve written before about Kevin, my enjoyment of his films & my love for what he stands for- not just the inappropriate sayings I’ll spare you from here. Kevin is a man on a mission to inspire. He took a leap of faith to begin his career in 1992 & create “Clerks” by maxing out some credit cards. His gamble paid off & the film found a deal with Miramax. Kev was able to pay off those credit cards & also start down a creative path that led to many more films & a cult following.
I say all of that to tell you that Kevin Smith has inspired me to find my thing. He is forever talking about how people need to find their passion, follow it & make their life what they want it to be. That being said, I want to be a writer.
You’re probably thinking “well duh, she writes” by the simple fact I’ve got a blog in the first place, but there’s more to it than that- I’m admittedly scared with this writing realization.
Writing is hard & eventually being a freelancer is something that I dream about but makes me nervous. There’s 3 big reasons that I’m not so certain about writing- my mindset, my laziness & my need/want for new equipment.
My mindset is full of “but who would pay for my words?”. This questioning also informs my subconscious self-sabatoging that I have a tendency to do. If I didn’t self sabotage, I would have graduated college a semester sooner, I’d probably weigh a few less pounds & I imagine I’d honestly be a little less stressed out in life. It has gotten much better but I still have my moments & areas that I’m not so certain about. With some positive performances & feedback, I know it’ll get better, but I’ve got to make it to that point.
My laptop fan is shot, so I kind of feel in order to get much work done, I need a new laptop. That’s not the most crucial thing though. I’ve got Losson’s computer to use & can save for a new laptop- as long as I have paper & pen I can write, right? Right, just gotta keep reminding myself.
So there it is, all laid out. My fears are pretty much all in my head & I need to continue to move away from that. If you have any advice on freelancing, writing or generally being a positive, confident person, I’ll take any & all pointers!