I Just Don’t Know

I don’t know how to feel this morning: I feel sick, I feel terrified, I feel helpless.

I can’t hardly open twitter these days without getting stressed, sick or just plain upset. Everywhere we turn, it’s bad news, statements of intent to hurt other people (from those in power) and people getting in trouble for speaking out against things they believe in and trying to point injustice out. None of it is makes sense and it’s disgusting. I can’t process everything going on, let alone imagine having to explain bits and pieces of it to a child.

Add to that all the natural disasters going on (and the lack of being able to respond to it from government) and I just feel like things are about to implode. I went through and cut down a lot of my twitter feed last week and now 90% of what I have left has turned into a blow by blow report of the bad thing that happened or was said today.

I know that I am one who tries to preach self care and keeping yourself in a healthy place. Unfortunately, you have to be completely cut off from the world to do so right now. I’m 30 years old- I should be worried about paying debts and saving for having a kid right now- not if our country is going to start a nuclear war or if media is going to start being a controlled state. I CAN’T EVEN.

I apologize for this post not being uplifting or fun or random. This is on my mind and things are making me incredibly upset. Things are happening right now, like I’ve said before, I can’t sit here and just say nothing. That would be the wrong thing to do.

Last week, RuPaul and Michelle Visage had Ilana and Eliot Glazer on their podcast, What’s the T, and had a discussion about where we are as a country. I highly suggest listening to what they have to say.

For now, I’ll be trying to take care of myself but still standing my ground. If you guys need any support or help in dealing with the day to day, reach out. This may be a random girl’s blog but I’m onboard to be a positive force in the world.